IT'S A SHARED EXPERIENCE

I am/You are human - I am/You are worthy of existence

ME MYSELF - METAL MONKEY

some moments I get so excited - so consumed by all of the feelings and thoughts and emotions and connectivity of phrases in the web of reality - that I actually shriek aloud in a quick externally audible blast, the echo of an internal electric shudder. (the neighbors probably think I have a pet monkey).

when I was a kid I would get so thrilled that it made me stutter - I remember feeling like there were so many words/feelings coming through that they couldn't all fit through the door at once

BLING!

BLING! (Beth Fleenor & Denney Goodhew)

DENNEY GOODHEW CELEBRATION AND FAREWELL CONCERT
Chapel Performance Space / Good Shepherd Center


Screaming silence in a whirling pool of stillness, BLING! formed in 2004 to bring together mentor and student in a performance dynamic that investigates and activates new levels of awareness. The duo, featuring Goodhew on piano, and Fleenor on clarinet, explores spontaneously composed chamber music, with a commitment to ensemble intention and focused energy. BLING! opens itself to the space and audience to magnify subtleties in texture, motion and color, and their inherent rhythm, melody and harmonic form - a meditation on presence and being.

This special event featured a second set with guest Brad Gibson (drums), in a farewell celebration for Goodhew who is leaving Seattle in September.

(photos by Jim Wilke)

NEW CHAPTER

FINALLY - FINALLY!!!!

this happened as a result of a lot of people coming together and chipping in...
I couldn't have done it by myself.

THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!





{fully classical set up - now fully amplified}

SAY YES

"A great person should die as a shattered jewel rather than live as an intact tile." -Saigō Takamori

A DAY IN THE LIFE

FOCUS IS WITHIN

YES - SAY YES

YES YES YES I'M GOING TO DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUCK FEAR

About 6 months ago a great friend of mine did a theatre piece that had a profound emotional impact on me....I was affected for more reasons than I can possibly go into right now, but one concept in particular has been replaying in my mind daily ever since - and it has caused me to pull apart every aspect I can of myself & my life, trying to examine and inspect the authentic truth...going deeper and deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole....

......if you live by a code - shaped out of "learning" from your past experiences - and that code demands that you impede certain things in service of maintaining the code - the code itself designed to offer protection & stability....are you living by a code or are you really living a life governed by fear?


What was revealed to me is that I have defined a great number of codes that are really just a bunch of fears that keep me in a position of silencing my authentic self and core needs/desires. Codes that were established in an effort to do the exact opposite - to ensure the CULTIVATION & GROWTH of my authentic self and core needs/desires....oh, the irony....


Like every human I come with a lot of baggage - we come in with baggage (chemical, genetic, etc) and on top we pile some more (emotional, psychological, physical, environmental, cultural).......and also, like every human, I come with an amazing super power...several of them actually, but one of the most important I think, is the SUPER power of perspective.


Rejection - endless rejection....in some form or another...familial, personal, professional - like most, I could give you a long list...

ever wonder why I am a relentless supporter of the underdog - why I spend so much energy and time trying to look into all types of people to see their authentic contribution as a global citizen?

I have always been the underdog. The last kid picked for the team. The person mocked openly, and daily, as I was growing up. The one told my dreams were stupid and irresponsible. The one told I wasn't capable - not smart enough, not talented enough......"not enough".......................and the funny part when I put it all on the table is simultaneously, while living a life being told I'm "not enough" of whatever it is, I have simultaneously been told I'm "too much" ...................too loud, too weird, too intense, speak too many words, want too much, too too too....

all the while the little beth inside knowing the truth and trying desperately to advocate for our team - I'm just me. I am great like every other human. I have a voice. I have a vision. I am intelligent. I am beautiful. I am human - I am worthy of existence.

There have been amazing things that have come out of that development - it spawned a creature that constantly builds structures and hubs for other misfits....a person with ample energy to build a life not determined by the efforts or lack of contribution/interest from any other individual - self propelled of my own volition, in spite of the odds...
I build my own toys so I don't have to rely on anyone else to be able to play...


But inside I carry a lot of fear.
and insecurity.

We all do. We are human.
I'm just trying to call it out - to face the truth.

I do make a lot of decisions out of fear - most of them decisions to NOT do something or not participate in something I want or I am inclined to do.
A voice that tells me to just stop now and not go a step further - to constantly let things go, stop trying, detach, disconnect.....and obviously I've fought that for a long time.....
but the way I have learned to combat the fear is to become confrontational....it's the only way I could muster the courage to face it - just turn and run head strong into it - like a samurai getting ready to take off someone's head or die trying.

but I've reached a new point.
no confrontation.

The objective - FUCK FEAR.

Make it your proverbial bitch.

It's not going anywhere, it's a natural part of your humanity, but there is a healthy way to deal with it.
Don't fight it and don't give in to it either.

Work it. Let it move through you.
Let it take you places, let it show you where you really are - what reality really is.

Ride it.
and much like floating in the ocean, relax and let your body hover. Let yourself be taken by that which you are seeking.
If you tense up you will sink and drown.
Relax.

Stop trying to run away from yourself.
Stop holding yourself.
Stop fighting yourself and everyone else.
FUCK FEAR.


I am making an effort to live my life based on the things I want - not based reactively on the things I am given.
Behave the way I want to be treated, in the life I want to experience, not just behave as a reflection of my fears or in reaction to the fears and actions of others.
Not making choices and decisions governed, or restricted, by the past.

TRUE VULNERABILITY.
TRUE OPENNESS.
TRUE COMMUNICATION.

I think true communication is void of assumption....assumption having been constructed out of past interactions and shaped by selecting possibilities out of cumulative knowledge of past experiences. Assumption is limited. Possibility is infinite.

You see what you want to see.

Every day is a new day. and as my grandfather use to tell me each morning on the way to school: You can't get this day back.
Good or bad - you can't get this day back.


Learn from the past, but don't get trapped there.
Please face forward and FUCK FEAR.

ARCHIVE - LISTEN / WATCH

Sometime soon I will have a website with an archive and collection of projects...until then a sampling of some of the works..

(a couple of recordings)

FIGEATER (neo-chamber avant noise jazz)
http://figeater.bandcamp.com/

DOUBLE YOKO (improvised chamber music)
http://doubleyoko.bandcamp.com/album/experiment-no-1

OWCHARUK 5 (Ukrainian punk jazz)
http://owcharuk5.bandcamp.com/

JHEREK BISCHOFF / KONONO NO. 1 ARRANGEMENT
http://jherekbischoff.bandcamp.com/album/kule-kule-orchestral-version


(vids)

KULTUR SHOCK (Balkan metal)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpbMxLKwUuA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF7NOvWsjPc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P4SjAIC9QNc&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAeUoN62L2Y&feature=related


JHEREK BISCHOFF / AMBIENT ORCHESTRA
http://vimeo.com/25890889

http://vimeo.com/25891235

SUPPORT

Mother May I has received support from both the City of Seattle Office of Arts & Cultural Affairs (City Artist) and 4Culture (Individual Artist Grant)....after writing literally hundreds of grants for other people over the last decade, I received 2 for a project of my own!!!!

This is really happening - RIGHT NOW!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

http://mothermayimakewaves.wordpress.com/

SOUNDS OUTSIDE 2006 - 2010

Due to insurmountable financial hardship, Sounds Outside 2011 has been canceled.

This unfortunate decision comes with a great amount of regret, however we turn our focus, hope, and vision to the other powerful artistic performances and activities cultivated by each of our respective organizations.

More than ever, we encourage you to step outside of the box to connect, communicate, and collectively engage with each other. Though this decision marks the end of an era, it does not mark the end of an idea.

On behalf of Advocates for Abundance and the Monktail Creative Music Concern - Thank you for supporting 5 years of Sounds Outside: A Celebration of Adventurous Music & Community.



Sounds Outside 2009 / TU (Trey Gunn & Pat Mastelotto of King Crimson)





Sounds Outside 2009 / Washington Composers Orchestra (WACO)




Sounds Outside 2007 / Cait Willis paints live ensembles





Sounds Outside 2009 / Sugar Skulls






Sounds Outside 2008 / Floss






credit: all photos MCMC

PLEASE NOTE

each relationship is a catalyst.
millions of them each day!

LISTEN TO YOURSELF - AND THEN SPEAK

A great deal of my interests, discipline, work and activities have to do with the notion that each person - every single individual in the entire world - has it's own voice.....it's own perspective...it's own vision...it's own song....

Your voice is entirely unique to you. No one else in the world can say and do what you can - NO ONE.

Every single one of us has this amazing super power - and we have a moral obligation to use it.

Franks actions are most entirely dedicated to this principle and working with artists and organizations to clarify, articulate and amplify their voice.

Hey Beth - did you catch that?
What do you have to say?


......................"Mother May I learn from you but find my own voice, transforming difficulties of the past into opportunities for the future"..............

S&P COMING SOON

NO, DO!!!!

dear little bunny - remember your mission and focus:
NO RESISTANCE
(believe it is possible - accept the possibility)






photo by Brad Hebert

IDEAS/CHANGES

DRAGONFLY

"I asked, and they said
the branch swathed in flame is a sparrow.

They said my face was the waves
the world's face, a pile of mirrors, a lighthouse & the sailor's sorrow.

I arrived and the world in my way was ink,
each gesture a phrase

I did not know that between it and me was a bridge called brotherhood,
made of steps, prophesies and fire.

I did not know that my face is a ship
that sails inside a spark."

(Adonis)

FACING THE TRUTH

Ok, let's fucking do this.

JHEREK BISCHOFF AMBIENT ORCHESTRA

Closer to Closure

Closer To Closure from Jherek Bischoff on Vimeo.

Cistern 1

Cistern 1 from Jherek Bischoff on Vimeo.

Jherek Bischoff: Ambient Chamber Orchestra.
Live at Chapel Performance Space (Seattle, WA)

Composition: Jherek Bischoff
Conductor: Joshua Kohl
Video by: Into The Woods
Edited by: Andrew R Tonry
Recorded by: Robb Kunz

IMPROVISATIONS WITH MIKE DILLON AND GUEST MARCO BENEVENTO

BF (clarinet), Mike D (vibes)



BF (voice), Mike D (tabla), Marco (piano)



















(videos by Nicholas Polimenakos)

MAY DAY MAY DAY

CRYSTAL BETH performed at the New Music Marathon this past May

MESSENGER / TEACHER

Gino Yevdjevich


THE DANCE



Sketch for Freehold's Pericles
Paris Hurley (violin), BF (bass clarinet), Gino Yevdjevich (tarabuka)